Wow...

So it's apparently necessary to satirize satire now. And here I thought that Fox News couldn't get any stupider than it already was.

Seriously, why? South Park makes fun of environmentalism all the time, and I support environmentalism. But South Park is still an incredibly funny show, and I can learn to laugh at it even though I disagree with it. Also, I happen to watch Joe Scarbrough's show, even though he's a Republican. He makes a lot of sense and I like the show.

But no. NO. Over at Fox News, such a thing does not exist. Over at Fox News, they had to crap their red-white-and-blue underwear that shows such as The Daily Show and The Colbert Report not only had the audacity to exist, but also to be funny.

And it calls itself a "show for the rest of us". Yeah, right. This "liberal elite" bullshit. Let's take a minute to adress this.

Look at that map. Please note how most of the counties are purplish. Not only that, but the bluest counties in Texas are by the Rio Grande. And for you dumbasses who can't figure out what that means, this indicates that minorities (Mexicanos, anyway) tend to vote more liberal. Same with Florida. While the purpleness in the wang part is also caused in part by Jewish grannies, the Cubans probably factor into it significantly. Also, acknowledge the very blue strip of counties in the south, spanning from Louisiana to west Georgia. Also take a moment to look at the bluish purple counties in Minnesota, Michigan, and Wisconsin. There are also several purplish blue counties in Colorado, and some very blue counties in northern New Mexico.

This, to me, seems to indicate that liberal elitism is the kind of elitism where everyone can join them. What kind of pussy elitism is that?

And, while the liberal elitists are bowing down before golden statues of Alec Baldwin, the down-to-Earth folks at Fox News are showing how in touch with average Americans they are by pushing for more tax cuts for the rich and more privatization. You know, I totally understand how making the rich at no benefit to anyone else is "reaching the average American". Because, honestly, who doesn't want to have to be unable to put food on the table so that Mr. Suave can afford his third yacht thanks to lower taxes? What poor person DOESN'T want their children unable to succeed no matter how deserving they are because public schools are getting no funding and might be handed over to be run by some guy who owns a credit card company? I mean, isn't that supposed to be the American Dream?

Now that I've gone off on my mini-rant about the whole liberal elite stuff, let me talk about Half Hour News Hour again.

They apparently took it upon themselves to make fun of something that makes fun of something (....?), and they don't even create that funny of a product. For example, they came up with such cutting-edge humor as making fun of the over-tolerance of the ACLU (which has never been done before), making fun of the short amount of time Obama spent in the Senate (OMGNOWAI).

What the hell do these people have against humor? When Stephen Colbert went on the ORLY FACTOR, Billy-boy spent the next segment trying to analyze the Daily Show and the Colbert Report, refusing to accept the slightest possibility that people like the show because it's funny, but instead went for the obvious solutions of "the people who watch it are stoned". That's Occam's Razor right there.

Fuck Fox News in general. "Fair and Balanced". Yeah, right. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't call Fox News Fair and Balanced, in the same way that I would not expect a see-saw with seventeen people on one side, no one on the other side, and one extremely light, frail person sitting on the center to be any fun whatsoever.

Fox news is always talking about liberal bias in the media. The media is not perfect. It's sensationalist (Y2K, MySpace, killer bee scare, Anthrax scare, etc. ), and it seems to want to entertain the public rather than inform them (devoting all their time to that story about the astronaut who drove across the country in a diaper being a prime example), and it has their priorities out of order (as well as on Anna Nicole Smith's death, spending seveal months talking about the Laci Peterson case, Terry Schiavo). But, for all its flaws, it does try to tell the truth, and yet Fox News is always talking about the Liberal Media.

Listen, assholes. The mainstream media is way, way, way less biased than you guys are. Having Hannity scream at Colmes whenever he (Colmes) meekly attempts to get a word in edgewise (which is usually a word of assent to someting Hannity said, by the way), is not "Fair and Balanced". Having Ann Coulter rant on and on about vague topics is neither fair nor balanced. And nothing to do with BILL ORLY is fair or balanced. The "liberal media" such as MSNBC tries to be fair (Scarbrough and Michelle Malkin are both on that particular channel)

And why was this even started, anyway? "OH MY GOD, NO ONE'S GIVEN A VOICE TO RICH WHITE MALES! WE NEED TO GIVE THESE POOR PEOPLE A VOICE RIGHT NOW!"

Hey, Fox News, let's have a brief introduction to how newpapers : Most of the articles are as true as they can get them. Then they have a few news analyses, an editorial page, and an op-ed page.

You cannot claim to be Fair and Balanced if your newspaper is entirely editorial pages.

And then people who watch Fox News are always going on about how they're not buying in to everything the media tells them.

Yeah, because COUNTERCULTURE IS ALWAYS 100% RIGHT! There is a time and place for counterculture stuff. Music, movies, art, nightclubs, bars, and clothing are all perfectly fine times for "underground". But I, for one, would not trust an emergency room that claims to be counterculture and nonconformist. Call me a mindless drone, but I'd go for the regular hospital.

And another thing, by watching Fox News and talking about the Liberal Media, you are, in fact, doing exactly what your media is telling you.


Fuck it, man. Just fuck it.