Anna Nicole Smith

You know what, media? She's dead. And we know that. I, for one, haven't been in a coma recently, and therefore have seen the rest of your coverage of Anna Nicole Smith's death. All two weeks of it.

I'm sure that's what she would have wanted. To be disgraced on national media, have details of her private life revealed to the entire country, and have the news probing into things about her baby's father that are entirely her personal business. I'm sure she would have wanted everyone to hear that she have an 11-year-old a lap dance, because that was quite clearly her proudest moment. I'm sure she would have loved to have everyone hear about her drug addictions and the turmoil she faced in her life with her son. I'm sure she would have wanted everyone to subtly mock her (while pretending to pay their respects) with boob shots that make her look like a five-dollar whore rolling on the side.

So not only does this disrespect her and all her loved ones, but it also disrespects, um, everyone else that deserves airtime. How many people have died in Iraq and Darfur during these weeks of coverage?

How many were reported? How many were given more time than the scroll-across-the-bottom headlines?

Yeah. "We need to take time off from telling the people things that they actually would find useful to know to disrespect the memory of a late B-list celebrity."



The media in general is fucked. It has all this fucking bias that no one pays attention to. "Oh, it has a liberal bias so we have to start Fucks News." But, meanwhile, the media has taken a turn for the worse that everyone seems to treat as a given.

The news media no longer exists to inform. It exists to get people to watch. And they use a variety of tactics:
-"Everything is out to kill you! More on this at 11! Or you could just watch The Simpsons and not know how to protect yourself against certain death. Your choice." (Ex/ Anthrax)
-"Watch us! We have the story before everyone else!" (Ex/ 2000 Elections)
-"Watch us! We're fun! We're not boring!" (Ex/ NASA Astronaut/Diaper/Drive 900 miles)

Among others. And all this brings us to one conclusion:
The Media exists to sell itself.

The media should value itself over a cheap soap opera. Would you have as much respect for the Food Network if it had Rachael Ray taking five-minutes from preparing her food to mudwrestle a prostitute so that the Food Network could attract a male audience?

No.

The media can control anything. If it wanted to, it could bring this entire country to its knees. It could have made everyone vote for Nixon again if it wanted to. It's the controlling force of the nation. It has so much power, and with great power comes great responsibility. And, obviously, these people are full-grown, reasonably well-educated adults in the media.

So, of course, the media has to make itself into a fucking game. The dominating force of our country is a whore. Congratu-fucking-lations.



I'M MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!


(I apologize for my triteness, but no media rant is complete without that.)