Degenerates, Degradation, and Atrocity, oh my!

PURE EVIL!

So I was watching Maury Povich today because I was curious to see what the deal was with the show, and I also had nothing better to do.

I should have known. I really should have known after that South Park episode. But South Park always exaggerates things, so I thought that Maury would only be mildly offensive.

Little did I know that South Park actually toned it down.

The theme of this particular segment was "Is my man cheating on me because I'm handicapped?"

Yes, really. So they did lie detectors to see if they were lying or not, and, uh... they all lied. All the guys cheated on their one-legged sweeties.

Now, the way people in the audience were reacting, it was almost as if they were enjoying this. There were people crying and pleading and arguing on stage, and they were just sitting there as if real humans in real pain from their lives was created by God (read: Maury) for their entertainment.

Yes. Let's make people's private affairs a public matter, shall we?

And the people who watch this show and LIKE it are all like "Hahaha, lookit the stupid trailer trash they deserve their pain!"

Uh... so poor people's misery is somehow more entertaining? All right, then. You can explain that to Satan when he's boning you in the ass after you die.

Now, there is truth to the German proverb "Schadenfreude ist die schönste Freude (denn sie kommt von Herzen)" (Which means "Schadenfreude is the most superb kind of joy becase it comes from the heart"). I've laughed at Enron and straight-A students getting Bs and TVs on fire and Rush Limbaugh's hypocritical drug problem just as much as the next person.

But this is too much. Someone needs to take this motherfucker down. Someone needs to kill him.

I nominate myself. I'm off to Home Depot to buy some shovels and cement.

And maybe if it's a good killing, they'll put it on Maury on a segment titled "I killed someone who deserved it!"

Also, what the hell kind of name is "Maury Povich", anyway? A first grader could make up a better name. Mr. Asswiping Cocksucker Douche, your parents were high when they named you, so I think you have a lot of nerve exploiting people when you could just as easily have ended up on a show with a segment entitled "My parents were snorting coke when they named me!"

Talent.

The fucking Pussycat Dolls, man, So six slack-cunted skanks with no talent objectifying themselves wasn't enough, was it? Now we need another ho to...fill the void?

Um, I have a better idea. No.

Remember when you were a musician because you were musically-inclined? Yeah, that actually used to happen. And your songs were remembered because they had a good melody and words with some degree of depth to them? Remember Harry Chapin?

And actors used to be famous because they were able to act. Now more people have heard of Lindsay Lohan than Indina Menzel. And, you know, Indina can actually act. I know, right? And she can also sing. And what can Lindsay do? ...Why, she can destroy herself with drugs and alcohol.

And what is with everyone knowiong about Paris Hilton? She doesn't even ostensibly do anything. I mean, aside from producing that godawful Stars are Blind song that all the radio stations seemed to want to play for several torturous months.

Now she wants to be treated like a functioning member of society? She had her chance. She doesn't have talents that go beyond the ability to stick an entire watermelon up her vagina, and she should absolutely not pretend otherwise.

And for that matter:

Dear Ron Howard,
You played a dorky ginger in a bad show from the 70's. Last time I checked, this does not make you a director. So for the sake of our sanities, cease and desist.

Goddamn, pop culture sucks.

I'm sorry to say that Ann Coulter and I have something in common...

We're both mysoginist females. While I think that women should be allowed to vote and everything, I really hate all of them.

It's always concerned mothers and soccer moms. It's always women who are all sanctimonious about lookism and rape, as if it never happens to men.

Let me tell you a story I heard:
The principal of my school (a feminazi, to be sure) told us of a girl who went to our school (all-girls'), and then went on to a co-ed high school. The girl came back complaining about how the guys at the school would hang out at the foot of the stairs and make comments about the appearances of passing girls. The principal said, in a half-indignant and half-sad way, "Have you ever heard of a girl doing something like that?"

Yes, cuntface. As a matter of fact, I do believe that happens all the fucking time. Or have you just been turning a blind eye to everyting females do that's bad? Because females are all good and men are all evil.

Fuck that. When's the last time you've ever heard of a man smack-talking about someone behind their backs and then pretending that everything was cool to their face? When's the last time you've ever seen men wear tight, revealing clothes and then say, "Um, I'm up here, sexist."

I'm sorry, but I'm really just sick of women.

Important Christian Issues

This shit pisses me off.

Oh, yes. So here we have a man who's for the Earth and against torture (WWJD) and these asshats are saying that he's losing focus of the "important" issues. Such as the school system's treatment of sex, gay sex, sex leading to pregnencies, premarital sex, and so on.

Hey, you guys, what do you think Jesus would do? Let lake Michigan turn dark gray and opaque? Allow people to get tortured? No, I think so, too. That's what he said in the Bible, right? To NOT respect your fellow man, to NOT act in the interest of people other than yourself, and to NOT try to improve the world we live in by any means other than to stop allowing people access to condoms and having gay people pound each other.

God-fucking-dammit.

A lovely look back on pop culture

Black Eyed Peas:
2003
2006

Nelly Furtado:
2000
2006

Academy Award Winners for Best Actress:
1977
2006


I believe this speaks for itself. Is there anything that can't be ground down into a barely palatable paste? This all reminds me of a a book I read once.

Nothing is allowed to have a soul anymore in this entire fucking planet. Goddamn.

I am a tree-hugger

And not only that, but I also breathe air, drink water, eat food, and live on Earth. I need resources, dammit.

Pardon me if I want those things to remain intact. Pardon me if I don't want my lungs to turn black before I'm 20 because of all the methane and God knows what else in the air. Pardon me if I don't want to have to wonder what kind of tumor my spinach will give me. Pardon me if I would prefer to have drinking water be some sort of whitish clearish color as opposed to dark brown.

"Oh, but environmentalism will impede progress of corporations". Ah, yes, corporations. God bless them and their hearts of gold. And, obviously, it is absolutely impossible to make progress of any sort without killing the environment. The only way to conserve the Earth's resources at all is to become a cave-dwelling freegan nudist.

Haven't these people heard of moderation? Is it so horrible to be able to recycle things once and a while? Would alternative fuels really kill anybody? What about public transportation? Could it possibly destroy you? Could adjusting your thermostat a few degrees make you die of hypothermia? Would it possibly kill you to try and turn off appliances you're not using?

Did I say that many of the aforementioned things would save a lot of money? Did I also mention that alternative fuels would alleviate oil dependency? And, you know, we're sort of dependent on Middle East oil, which is why you have to pay three bucks a gallon for regular?

Did I mention that there's this school of thought that says that we should try to conserve what we can of Earth but it's stupid to think we can live without leaving a trace? I know, right?

But no. No no no. This is absolutely unacceptable because...well, just because. Our corporations are apparently all-important. And it never occured to anyone that these corporations would need some resources to still, um, do what they're doing. I believe that point was very well outlined in The Lorax.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I admit it. I am a tree-hugger.

GITMO

Hey, does anyone remember when America was about humane treatment? Remember when people seemed to adhere to this crazy idea that torture was BAD? Does anyone remember when people cared about Habeas Corpus?

No? Oh, right, that seemed like such a long time ago.

Let's discuss torture:
If you are being tortured, you want it to stop. And if you know there is something you can say to make it stop, you will most likely say it.

Notice that it's "what you can say to make it stop". That doens't necessarily mean it's the truth. If the torturers don't know any better, you could say anything. If I were being waterboarded, I'd admit to killing JFK.

And not only that, people get to be there violating Habeas Corpus and the right to a fair trial.

Hey, assclowns. What would you think if someone in Iraq were torturing American troops like this? I bet you'd hold the exact same stance. Because this is totally fair.

The saddest part is that this is just another day with 8 years of this shit. Everyone's become immune to outright atrocities like Scooter Libby and Whitewater and GITMO. It's all in a day's work now.

Mindfuck of the year.

Censorship "for the family"

All these things have one thing in common: they have all been (attempted at being) censored at one point or another by people concerned about their "family values".

See, here's the thing: these fucking parents think that since they don't like something, it should be eliminated entirely.

Yeah, that's right. Just because YOU feel the need to trap YOUR kids in a bubble, everyone else in the planet has to remain inside that bubble as well.

You can't control the entire world based on your parenting methods. You don't spank people on the street for being out after your kid's curfew. This may surprise you, but the entire world does not stop and start at your command.

And parental overprotectiveness--WTF?

Newsflash: The actual world contains hatred, sex, passion, profanity, depth, sorrow, death, torture, pain, and disappointment. And if you try to shelter your kid from that forever and ever, your kid will be psychologically fucked. This happened to a girl I knew, where her mom protected her from everything, and she ended up sticking her hand in hydrochloric acid.

You're doing your kids wrong if you try to stunt them.

I'm not saying that kids should start watching porn, but seriously....

YA shit in general v.2, or How YA is an Example of Society

The original was here.

You know what else pisses me off about this shit that's allowed to be published? This also occurs in books for children and, to a lesser extent, supposedly adult women, but I see it most prominently.

The popular characters and/or bullies are treated as completely two-dimensional characters. Now, with bullies in particular, you have this wonderful opportunity for a fleshed-out character. I mean, one would logically assume that something would lead someone to go out of their way to antagonize people, right?

Let us take a minute to analyze the typical YA popular person:
Shallow, bad grades, party-girl, rich, pretty, mean, treats everyone like absolute shit, has absolutely no redeeming qualities to her besides looks and money. And, of course, she's not that pretty, for that would impugn the beauty of the heroine. So, really, the only thing she has going for her is money.

There's an old adage that says "Money can't buy happiness". Well, whether or not that's true is debatable, but money definitely can't buy popularity. Rich people in working-or-middle class environments sometimes find themselves alienated. Also, rich people, and I know this is a shocker, can be eccentric or introverted or otherwise unlikely to be popular. Sure, it helps to be rich, but you can't become popular on wealth alone unless you start sharing it with people.

What, ultimately, makes a person popular? Charisma. But this has never ever been mentioned in any YA books. As a matter of fact, the YA antagonists are usually extraordinarily uncharismatic.

Also, why is this person going out of their way to be mean to the protagonist, anyway? I could understand some idle, passive-agressive stuff, but these people are usually going OUT of their way to do it, at no benefit to themselves. Why? These people obviously have issues.

Christ said to love thine enemy. And then Judas Iscariot sold His life. And so recommenced the age of "assuming that thine enemy is subhuman."

Because that's what people do. They assume that their enemy's minds are pure evil and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Fuck this. How do you expect to make anything right if you don't understand it?

Oh, but that's right, the whole world has to lay itself at your feet and bend to your every whim.

Goddamn.

Anna Nicole Smith

You know what, media? She's dead. And we know that. I, for one, haven't been in a coma recently, and therefore have seen the rest of your coverage of Anna Nicole Smith's death. All two weeks of it.

I'm sure that's what she would have wanted. To be disgraced on national media, have details of her private life revealed to the entire country, and have the news probing into things about her baby's father that are entirely her personal business. I'm sure she would have wanted everyone to hear that she have an 11-year-old a lap dance, because that was quite clearly her proudest moment. I'm sure she would have loved to have everyone hear about her drug addictions and the turmoil she faced in her life with her son. I'm sure she would have wanted everyone to subtly mock her (while pretending to pay their respects) with boob shots that make her look like a five-dollar whore rolling on the side.

So not only does this disrespect her and all her loved ones, but it also disrespects, um, everyone else that deserves airtime. How many people have died in Iraq and Darfur during these weeks of coverage?

How many were reported? How many were given more time than the scroll-across-the-bottom headlines?

Yeah. "We need to take time off from telling the people things that they actually would find useful to know to disrespect the memory of a late B-list celebrity."



The media in general is fucked. It has all this fucking bias that no one pays attention to. "Oh, it has a liberal bias so we have to start Fucks News." But, meanwhile, the media has taken a turn for the worse that everyone seems to treat as a given.

The news media no longer exists to inform. It exists to get people to watch. And they use a variety of tactics:
-"Everything is out to kill you! More on this at 11! Or you could just watch The Simpsons and not know how to protect yourself against certain death. Your choice." (Ex/ Anthrax)
-"Watch us! We have the story before everyone else!" (Ex/ 2000 Elections)
-"Watch us! We're fun! We're not boring!" (Ex/ NASA Astronaut/Diaper/Drive 900 miles)

Among others. And all this brings us to one conclusion:
The Media exists to sell itself.

The media should value itself over a cheap soap opera. Would you have as much respect for the Food Network if it had Rachael Ray taking five-minutes from preparing her food to mudwrestle a prostitute so that the Food Network could attract a male audience?

No.

The media can control anything. If it wanted to, it could bring this entire country to its knees. It could have made everyone vote for Nixon again if it wanted to. It's the controlling force of the nation. It has so much power, and with great power comes great responsibility. And, obviously, these people are full-grown, reasonably well-educated adults in the media.

So, of course, the media has to make itself into a fucking game. The dominating force of our country is a whore. Congratu-fucking-lations.



I'M MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!


(I apologize for my triteness, but no media rant is complete without that.)

Thank you, God

It's about fucking time.

It's nice to see that one-tenth of states in the whole nation aren't afraid to be told that they're tree-huggers who are following "fallacious" science, but it's not enough. It's been pretty much established as a fact that there is global warming. "Oh, but we may not be causing it, so lets keep driving our stretch Hummers with all that room that no one could ever possibly need." What these mofos don't seem to realize is that reducing carbon emissions is beneficial to pretty much everyone, with or without global warming. But no. Since there is one graph from 1990 that seems to show that this is a somewhat natural, we get to keep burning up our foreign oil because we're too lazy to walk a block to Walgreen's.

I'll save my rant on environmentalism and climate change for later. For now, I'm thankful that something is being done and that a few people in this country are smart enough to look past parties and try to help the only place we've ever called our home.

Diets

If there is a God, this asscrack is burning in Hell, and all the people he helped to get heart attacks and become weak as overcooked noodles are jacking off on his flaming, shit-covered body.

That douche is a shining example of everything that is wrong with American society. It used to be that people would be thin by exercising and eating a balanced diet.



Now that has the entire country collectively shitting bricks. That is the enemy. That causes obesity. That can have a big, burly man screaming like a little girl, and it's all because of Dr. Robert "Cocksucker" Atkins.

He comes along with this new diet where you can eat all the red meat and grease and trans fats that you like as long as you don't eat any carbohydrates, and everyone latches on to it.

This is a prime example of people being obsessed not with how something is, but rather how it looks. A quick lesson in 4th grade level biology: proteins are good for making enzymes and new cells. They are necessary to do such, as a matter of fact. Carbohydrates, however, give us energy to do everything, including making the aforementioned enzymes. Without carbohydrates, the body begins to devour itself for energy. Not only that, but after a while it goes on starvation mode, thereby slowing down your metabolism.

Does that sound remotely healthy to you? It shouldn't, because it's not healthy in the slightest.

"BUT I DON'T CARE IF IT'S HEALTHY! I DON'T CARE IF I'M VIRTUALLY STARVING MYSELF! I DON'T CARE IF I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TAKE A SHIT WITHOUT ENDURING UNBEARABLE PAIN EVER AGAIN! I DON'T CARE IF I'LL LOSE MUSCLE MASS! I DON'T CARE IF I'LL BE SO WEAK THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO RUN ANY FASTER THAN THREE MILES AN HOUR EVER AGAIN. I DON'T CARE IF I'LL GAIN BACK DOUBLE WHAT I LOST IF I START EATING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON PERSON AGAIN. I ONLY WANT TO BE THIN."

Oh, is that how it is? Being thin is all-important, and it doesn't matter how many heart attacks you have in the process? Fine. We'll see how important being thin is when you're meeting your maker before you turn 40.

We've reached a point in our society where people are now encouraged to think that physical beauty is more important than life span. This will not stand. Yeah, I agree that you should be taking care of yourself. But when I looked last, "taking care of yourself" meant willpower, balance, and exercise. Now, with this new diet willpower is utterly meaningless, balance is discouraged, and exercise is impossible since you have so little stamina that you'd pass out if you tried to get on a treadmill. "Taking care of yourself" does not involve overindulging on unhealthy crap so long as you don't gain any weight.

And this Atkins diet is affecting people even when they're not on it. The first thing people think when on diets is not "exercise more" and "balance my shit". It's "less carbs". It's hard to burn calories with no energy to do it, fuckwits.

This asshattery needs to be stopped. Dieting is not only about being thin, it's also about being healthy and having energy. And if people were to look past image (goddammit), maybe they'd see that.

The Gospel of Supply Side Jesus

For your consideration:



That's a link, people.

Twilight and YA in General

I want to find the spooge-guzzling cunt that wrote this drivel and use a red-hot machete to slice her a new buttcrack.

If you want a brief synopsis of the plot, here it goes. But be warend, it will turn your stomach.

From the School Library Journal:

Headstrong, sun-loving, 17-year-old Bella declines her mom's invitation to move to Florida, and instead reluctantly opts to move to her dad's cabin in the dreary, rainy town of Forks, WA. She becomes intrigued with Edward Cullen, a distant, stylish, and disarmingly handsome senior, who is also a vampire. When he reveals that his specific clan hunts wildlife instead of humans, Bella deduces that she is safe from his blood-sucking instincts and therefore free to fall hopelessly in love with him. The feeling is mutual, and the resulting volatile romance smolders as they attempt to hide Edward's identity from her family and the rest of the school. Meyer adds an eerie new twist to the mismatched, star-crossed lovers theme: predator falls for prey, human falls for vampire. This tension strips away any pretense readers may have about the everyday teen romance novel, and kissing, touching, and talking take on an entirely new meaning when one small mistake could be life-threatening. Bella and Edward's struggle to make their relationship work becomes a struggle for survival, especially when vampires from an outside clan infiltrate the Cullen territory and head straight for her. As a result, the novel's danger-factor skyrockets as the excitement of secret love and hushed affection morphs into a terrifying race to stay alive. Realistic, subtle, succinct, and easy to follow, Twilight will have readers dying to sink their teeth into it.

Realism, subtleness, succintness? Is that the sound I hear coming from that book? Really? Because I could have sworn that was the sound of this plot being done a million times before by lonely-ass acne-scarred 12-year-old girls across the entire fucking Western hemisphere.

But for those 12-year-olds, it's fine for them to do that. They don't know any better, and they're using their stories to release the tensions of Bobby Jones not thinking that they're cute.

But, seriously. Look at this:


That is the face and atrocious haircut of a full-grown adult woman. With a suburban name like "Stephanie Meyer", she almost certainly went to college. She's also seen at least 30 years or so of life. And during those thirty years, she probably experienced some shit. Normal thirty-year-olds have experienced pain, passion, love, hatred, fear, etc. They know the ropes of life. Someone they know has probably died. They've probably witnessed betrayal and other shit like that.

So how on Earth does a thirty-year-old come up with this? How could a nineteen-year-old come up with this? Reading this shit, one might have thought that Meyer spent her entire life in one room, not knowing anyone, warching teen dramas on the WB.

I seriously think that you'd have to be lobotomized to write this shit. There's no possible way that any actual person over the age of fifteen would be able to do this without clawing their eyes out, with the possible exception of Paris Hilton.

So we have the main character, Isabella "This-is-Hella". HURHURI'MSOWITTY. Anyway, she's the very typical YA heroine: Better Than You (TM). She's prettier than you and supposedly smarter than you and more guys like her than you. Asd a matter of fact, her life is way more perfect than yours could ever aspire to be. And yet you're supposed to empathize with her anyway because she bitches all the time about the Token Flaw In Her Life. In this case, it's divorce and moving to a new town. OMGWTFNOBODY'SEVERWRITTENYAABOUTTHATLOLOLOLOLOLZ. And then, of course, the Totally Hot Enigmatic Mysterious Guy With A Secret (TM) falls for her. She finds out the secret, but she loves him anyway and they continue with their Forbiddon Lurve (TM).

Now, some of you may be saying that this all sounds like sour grapes, but I'm going to get to the point of this rant.

Twilight is not the only abortion of a marginally-tolerable book out there, but it's a very good example and I've been hearing far too much hype about it.

It didn't have to be like this. Just because the target audience is in middle school doesn't mean that the books have to have the intellectual level of a rotten banana.

There was one YA book that I liked. It was called Rx. It had a moral. It had personal growth. All the good stuff that makes a book worth reading. And yet it was still YA. See, the thing of it is, just because a book is meant for children doesn't mean that the characters aren't allowed to have personalities. And that there can't be internal conflict or a moral.

This is what happens. These ass pirates at publishing companies accept about 5,000 pieces of garbage for every YA book of reasonable quality. Then they hype crap like Twilight and Eragon so that at small bookstores those are the only things available.

And then when some 7th grader walks in to a Barnes and Noble, she will head to the YA section because she's meant to. She will see shelf after shelf stacked with nothing but crappy books. She wants a book so she will buy one. And then, after buying some crap like Gossip Girl, she'll be told by all the reviews and her friends and teen magazines and shit that this is the kind of thing that she should be reading. She will think that reading story after story about beautiful, interchangeable rich kids from Manhattan being degenerates is something she should be doing.

This shit is supposed to be "cool". This stuff is being pushed onto people until they grow older, at which point they read everything described as "catty" and given four stars by Us Magazine, the great connoisseurs of fine literature, and those seventh graders grow up to become this. They'll read the same YA with more sex in it, and they'll watch plastic surgery shows. And then the pretentious pricks ask what the hell happened to society to make women do that.

It's requiring all the self control I have not to go to the nearest bookstore and open fire on the YA section.

Oh, man, Switzerland....

And on the lighter side of the news....

They said that Lichtenstein was nice about it, but I'm sure that they were laughing their asses off.

And in other news, I somehow got the URL for news from the Caucasus.

Wow...

So it's apparently necessary to satirize satire now. And here I thought that Fox News couldn't get any stupider than it already was.

Seriously, why? South Park makes fun of environmentalism all the time, and I support environmentalism. But South Park is still an incredibly funny show, and I can learn to laugh at it even though I disagree with it. Also, I happen to watch Joe Scarbrough's show, even though he's a Republican. He makes a lot of sense and I like the show.

But no. NO. Over at Fox News, such a thing does not exist. Over at Fox News, they had to crap their red-white-and-blue underwear that shows such as The Daily Show and The Colbert Report not only had the audacity to exist, but also to be funny.

And it calls itself a "show for the rest of us". Yeah, right. This "liberal elite" bullshit. Let's take a minute to adress this.

Look at that map. Please note how most of the counties are purplish. Not only that, but the bluest counties in Texas are by the Rio Grande. And for you dumbasses who can't figure out what that means, this indicates that minorities (Mexicanos, anyway) tend to vote more liberal. Same with Florida. While the purpleness in the wang part is also caused in part by Jewish grannies, the Cubans probably factor into it significantly. Also, acknowledge the very blue strip of counties in the south, spanning from Louisiana to west Georgia. Also take a moment to look at the bluish purple counties in Minnesota, Michigan, and Wisconsin. There are also several purplish blue counties in Colorado, and some very blue counties in northern New Mexico.

This, to me, seems to indicate that liberal elitism is the kind of elitism where everyone can join them. What kind of pussy elitism is that?

And, while the liberal elitists are bowing down before golden statues of Alec Baldwin, the down-to-Earth folks at Fox News are showing how in touch with average Americans they are by pushing for more tax cuts for the rich and more privatization. You know, I totally understand how making the rich at no benefit to anyone else is "reaching the average American". Because, honestly, who doesn't want to have to be unable to put food on the table so that Mr. Suave can afford his third yacht thanks to lower taxes? What poor person DOESN'T want their children unable to succeed no matter how deserving they are because public schools are getting no funding and might be handed over to be run by some guy who owns a credit card company? I mean, isn't that supposed to be the American Dream?

Now that I've gone off on my mini-rant about the whole liberal elite stuff, let me talk about Half Hour News Hour again.

They apparently took it upon themselves to make fun of something that makes fun of something (....?), and they don't even create that funny of a product. For example, they came up with such cutting-edge humor as making fun of the over-tolerance of the ACLU (which has never been done before), making fun of the short amount of time Obama spent in the Senate (OMGNOWAI).

What the hell do these people have against humor? When Stephen Colbert went on the ORLY FACTOR, Billy-boy spent the next segment trying to analyze the Daily Show and the Colbert Report, refusing to accept the slightest possibility that people like the show because it's funny, but instead went for the obvious solutions of "the people who watch it are stoned". That's Occam's Razor right there.

Fuck Fox News in general. "Fair and Balanced". Yeah, right. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't call Fox News Fair and Balanced, in the same way that I would not expect a see-saw with seventeen people on one side, no one on the other side, and one extremely light, frail person sitting on the center to be any fun whatsoever.

Fox news is always talking about liberal bias in the media. The media is not perfect. It's sensationalist (Y2K, MySpace, killer bee scare, Anthrax scare, etc. ), and it seems to want to entertain the public rather than inform them (devoting all their time to that story about the astronaut who drove across the country in a diaper being a prime example), and it has their priorities out of order (as well as on Anna Nicole Smith's death, spending seveal months talking about the Laci Peterson case, Terry Schiavo). But, for all its flaws, it does try to tell the truth, and yet Fox News is always talking about the Liberal Media.

Listen, assholes. The mainstream media is way, way, way less biased than you guys are. Having Hannity scream at Colmes whenever he (Colmes) meekly attempts to get a word in edgewise (which is usually a word of assent to someting Hannity said, by the way), is not "Fair and Balanced". Having Ann Coulter rant on and on about vague topics is neither fair nor balanced. And nothing to do with BILL ORLY is fair or balanced. The "liberal media" such as MSNBC tries to be fair (Scarbrough and Michelle Malkin are both on that particular channel)

And why was this even started, anyway? "OH MY GOD, NO ONE'S GIVEN A VOICE TO RICH WHITE MALES! WE NEED TO GIVE THESE POOR PEOPLE A VOICE RIGHT NOW!"

Hey, Fox News, let's have a brief introduction to how newpapers : Most of the articles are as true as they can get them. Then they have a few news analyses, an editorial page, and an op-ed page.

You cannot claim to be Fair and Balanced if your newspaper is entirely editorial pages.

And then people who watch Fox News are always going on about how they're not buying in to everything the media tells them.

Yeah, because COUNTERCULTURE IS ALWAYS 100% RIGHT! There is a time and place for counterculture stuff. Music, movies, art, nightclubs, bars, and clothing are all perfectly fine times for "underground". But I, for one, would not trust an emergency room that claims to be counterculture and nonconformist. Call me a mindless drone, but I'd go for the regular hospital.

And another thing, by watching Fox News and talking about the Liberal Media, you are, in fact, doing exactly what your media is telling you.


Fuck it, man. Just fuck it.

Requiem for 95.7

The last oldies station in the entire city has been bought out by these assholes from L.A. who want to pretend they're from here but fail miserably at using our slang.

"The" 8-80. Hahahaha. That's almost as good as when the L.A. assholes who bought out the other oldies station (Oh 99.7, We Hardly Knew Ye) talked about "Solano" County.

And now they're all, "We're not like the Los Angeles people who bought the sellout stations. Just remember that as you go down 'The' 8-80. Doesn't this extremely pathetic attempt at sounding like a San Franciscan PROVE that we're one of you and definitely NOT from L.A? No? Okay, then I love to get my ass rammed. NOW we're one of you. Right? Right?"

And if you're not from Northern California, you have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about.