FUCK THIS COUNTRY.

Now, when I saw this face plastered all over the goddamn news a bunch of days ago, I was somehow not reminded at all of partial-birth abortions and the bans thereof.

I don't know, maybe it's just me. But for some reason a plasticky-looking adolescent doesn't strike me as the best way to convey that partial-birth abortions had been banned.

So, imagine my surprise when I learned that the news story within was not about partial-birth abortions, but rather about a floppy-haired kid who was voted off American Idol. I'm sure we all know him as Sanjaya Malakar.

And this is why the news media exists, alright: to inform. And who cares about shit that would affect, HOW many millions of people? We need to find out if Howard Stern's stunt worked!

Oh, valiant defenders of truth who are the news media, I can already hear the couples fighting over child support thanking you for keeping them informed on Sanjaya's latest ponyhawk. I KNOW all the pregnant teenagers will thank you for keeping them informed on American Idol. And the raped women? They're all going to send you flowers. And, most of all, I think the American people love you for letting them know what their own government is doing. Oh, wait a minute, you're not doing that, are you?

You know, I think that "freedom of the press" was not supposed to mean "freedom to tell everyone that Larry Dickhead is Dannielynn's father instead of that the White House 'accidentally' deleted five MILLION emails, all of which pertained to Karl Rove". I think it meant the "the freedom to tell the people what they need to know, what the people who are, um, controlling their lives are actually doing with that power".

But maybe that's just me.