Flight 144? Now, that sounds like one of those movies where there's a PARTY ON THE PLANE, BABY, YEAH!
It sounds so very fun.
A quick show of hands--who else thinks that lady's next line could plausibly be "dear me, I do believe I'm getting the vapors!"
Left Panel: Everything is under control. Right. They're both looking at the wing of the airplane that is ON FIRE, and one of the women says it's "under control".
Right Panel: I guess it's not under control, then, huh? I mean, one engine is dead and the other one's on fire.
What are the odds of that? That one engine would die at the SAME TIME that the other one catches fire?
That pilot is totally high. I think he's hallucinating the engine failure.
By the way, I'm imagining him saying, "This is Flight 144"in the same voice that Stephen Colbert uses to say, "This is the Colbert Report".
Alright, I have a hard time believing that this is any kind of a third-world country if the majority of the people who live there are wearing aloha shirts. I'm just saying.
It's hard to make fun of the left panel, because it's all so very sweet. This all, according to Chick, is supposed to be evil, but I can't help feeling a little happy that, you know, people that missionaries helped to avoid starvation are wishing the missionaries well.
But pay attention to how Mr. Davidson is referred to as "reverend".
Dig those two people in the row in front of them. That one woman looks really nervous, and the other one is evidently blind and eating an orange with the peel sicking out of her mouth like we all did when we were kids.
Hold up. That's supposed to be AFRICA?
None of the people who live there look remotely African.
It's also hard to make fun of this one, because building hospitals and schools is a GOOD thing.
Wait just a damn minute. This chalk-white guy is apparently an African, and he was in an African jail which is where he got saved. Yeah, right. A special note to Jack Chick: Most of the people in Africa are either Sunni Muslim, Catholic, or they have indigenous beliefs. There are quite a few Ethiopian Jews, however.
The odds of this guy being "Saved" here are highly remote.
Yeah, I'm sure you led that guy to the Lord. I'm sure. The guy was a criminal. Not only that, he was most likely desperately poor, and had plenty of reasons to believe that either God didn't exist or God did exist but God is an unbelievable asshole. This guy, who's been a Christian for about a week, managed to convert his cellmate to the Lord.
I would just like to point out that Mrs. Davidson's expression is trippy.
And here it is, folks, the ALLEGED BAD THING THAT COMES WITH MISSIONARY WORK. BEWARE THE BAD THING.
This kid is trying to say "Oh, yeah, helping thousands of people lead better lives and have longer life spans, sure fine whatever. It doesn't matter, it means NOTHING!"
How fucking impertinent. Didn't he learn to respect his elders?
Now, is it just me, or does that kid that's supposed to be the "good" one sound like he'd be a horrible person to hang around with?
It's like that South Park episode with Starvin Marvin and Sally Struthers. "Please give us food!" "NOT UNTIL YOU ACCEPT JESUS AS THE LORD!"
Now, to me, the Davidsons sound like REAL Christians as Jesus intended them to be, and then this kid sounds like some psycho.
The ONLY works that matter is Jesus dying on the cross? So apparently it doesn't even matter if you let people not starve? How fucking horrible is that?
What the hell is with that gospel quote at the bottom, anyway? What does it have to do with ANYTHING?
That is the biggest fucking fish I have ever seen in my entire life.
This is a really awesome panel, too. *CRASH* *BOOM* *EVERYONE DIES*.
Your beautiful MANSION in heaven? And heaven is guarded by gates?
HEAVEN IS A CUL-DE-SAC! Tee hee. Sac. Tee hee.
What if you don't want a mansion in heaven? Wouldn't it be more heavenly to some if one were simply able to sleep on a hammock on a beach somewhere, or in an apartment with a beautiful view of a city skyline? I met some people who worked for Yosemite National Park who could have probably gone on to live in a mansion but chose not to.
I guess heaven is really more like the capitalist American dream, and if you want to go against this, not only are you weird, but you're also BLASPHEMOUS.
And here we have him again, folks, Jack Chick's Asshole God (TM).
LOL GOD YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE! I mean, not like it ever happened before. I like your work with not smiting Hitler. And Pompeii. And AIDS--can't forget that. Although according to Jack Chick, AIDS is only a mistake when a straight person gets it by accident.
Jack Chick is trying to paint good people as arrogant, bad Christians, and I don't like it.
Wait, I don't like how that passage is being interpreted. Couldn't it just as easily mean that someone just went out and helped an old lady cross the street to get some God Cred, and God said "No Sale"? Couldn't it also mean that they themselves were good people but Satan-worshippers?
And couldn't it also mean THIS TRACT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE BECAUSE MR. DAVIDSON WAS A REVEREND!
That is one tripped-out waterfall, I must say.
Yes, the good works BLOODY WELL SHOULD count for something, goddammit.
You did ALL the work necessary? While there are still people out there starving, blind, disabled, AIDS-ridden, oppressed, whatever? Helping these people out is ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY AND WILL SEND YOU TO HELL!
No, Jack. If that's what God thinks, He is not loving. And you should not be spreading this horrible message. God has a place for people who run around telling others not to care about others and only themselves. HINT: It ain't heaven.
I don't get it. They were Christians. Why are they going to hell, if those passages don't apply to them!
I want to know what that cloud is supposed to be. Seriously.
Now, wait just a damned minute. The sin problem was taken care of once and for all... so there would be no need for Jesus to come into your heart, then?
It was apparently not fixed once and for all. God needs better marketing than Jack Chick.
Dammit, Jack, that's not Jesus. That's GOD THE FATHER.
Here's how it works. The Father is God. Jesus is God. The Holy Ghost is God. BUT The Father is not Jesus, Jesus is not the Holy Ghost, and the Holy Ghost is not the father.
Think of it like water:
Liquid water is H2O. Ice is H2O. Water vapor is H2O. BUT Liquid water is not ice, ice is not water vapor, and water vapor is not liquid water.
Given how loving and understanding Jack the Tripper's God evidently is, I'm sure that mistaking one member of the trinity is some sort of sin that will earn you ETERNAL HELLFIRE. Because God is love.
Oh, and those people WERE Christian. This track makes no sense.
Yeah, but before you died on the cross, didn't you say to help those in need?
I don't like how Jack Chick focuses on how Jesus got killed instead of what He taught. Focusing on how Jesus got killed leads to genocide, usually. Besides, Jesus' DYING is not the point of Christianity. Jesus' teaching is.
Hell is made of spaghetti?
That is the crappiest excuse for a flame I have ever fucking seen. It looks like a dog ate part of the tract.
The angel on the right is panhandling. In Hell.
Blah, blah, blah.
No comments:
Post a Comment