What the hell is that? It's taken them that long to cope with homework? Usually kids only do stuff like that if the teacher's done something particularly bitchy recently. And WTF is with them slashing the tires in front of the teacher? Is anybody that stupid?
And what the hell, a "War Zone" school has a WASPtacular name like "Westmont"? Since when are there ghetto high schools in fucking Connecticut?
My experience is that the worst schools are named after Presidents or other somewhat famous people. E. G. Galileo, Hoover, Lincoln, Washington
NOT Westmont.
They think they'd win a battle against their teacher? They think they'd be trusted over someone with a college education? They, who are known as delinquents? Even if their teacher had a record as a liar and they were top students, she's be trusted over them. Excuse me while I laugh hysterically.
"Hi, I'm scared of this school and everything in it, so I'm just going to walk up to some disdainful-looking stranger and hope she doesn't bash my head in with her Calculus book." Wow.
Also, note the smorgasboard of sinners. We have someone in an ambulance, a public display of affection, a girl being stangled, some kid smoking a joint, some kind of sale going on, and a gang rag on that one kid's head.
"There are a lot of scary kids here in Westmont, Connecticut. Why, we have a few toughs here who are working class! And some Catholics! And a few honor students who trade perscription drugs! It's a jungle"
Moose? Moose? What the hell kind of nickname is that? Yeah, I'm pissing myself because of some kid named Moose. There are kids at parochial schools with scarier nicknames than that.
Also, Moose calls his subordinates "snakes"? How does that make any sense? Shouldn't he be calling them "reindeer" or something?
And in the second panel, it looks like Chick is aiming for more sinner smorgasboards, but instead it looks like two kids having an interpretive dance competition on their cafeteria tables.
Man, I can only imagine how many times Mr. Chick must have been beaten up in his high school days, because this Moose character is absolutely ridiculous.
He takes the Gospel tracts? Just because they belong to somebody else? Bully=/=kleptomaniac. Any real self-respecting bully, upon hearing about gospel tracts, would go "HA! What a fag!" And leave them there.
I really don't like his bully. I must resist the urge to rant about him.
Note the stacks of paperwork on the Principal's desk, indicating that he's SO BURDENED WITH PROBLEMS THAT...Oh, Lordy.
What the hell are the pictures on the wall? We have some sort of gang-member alumnus and a two-headed dog.
That principal is awfully nervous. He looks like he's on crak.
And they respect a guy who's less book smart than they are? Even in drug circles they have a slight respect for the literate (see Freakonomics). Also, I mean, wouldn't the kid who could read be able to claim leadership because he can, you know, read? If any of them couldn't read, it'd probably be the inferiors. See, I love how Chick thinks that just because they're teenaged bullies, the rules of sociology don't really apply.
I love that right panel. So we have some sort of bald alien dude with a floppy nose, then to the left Mr, Crackhead Principal, and then a... what the hell ethnicity is that? Is that like a Hispanic NBA player with a Jewish nose and a hollowed-out 12-inch television for a skull?
What the hell is wrong with Indignant Father's mouth? It looks like he's some sort of fish. And there's a ninja behind Indignant Mother.
No, it is not a "literal war zone". A literal war zone would involve millitary combat. Slamming people against lockers and slashing tires doesn't count as military combat, I'm sorry to say.
Wow. Mr. Jittery Principal certainly smoked a lot of crack before this meeting.
And what the hell is with the parents acting like children? They're adults. Jesus Christ.
It looks like Moose was just stabbed in the heart. What's he doing standing upright?
*GASP* The LORD? WOOOOOOOOW.
Ha, I can just imagine how that prayer went:
"Dear Lord, There's this kid named Moose in my school who beats me up all the time! He took away my tracts! I hate him so much! I really, really hope he stops beating me up! Once, I had to stay home from school for a day because he punched me in the stomach so hard! So, to repeat: please make him stop! Please, Lord! Ohbythewaycanyousavehimtookthx Amen."
Now this is really pissing me off. "FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I'M AFRAID!"
Chick knows nothing about bullies. NADA. He is absolutely no better than those stupid tweenage girls who write stories that involve EVIL popular people because she herself was picked on by a popular person, although to nowhere near the same extent.
I know what beiing a bully is like, and let me tell you, it's not being fearless. Being a bully means living in a constant state of fear, rage, and denial. And you most likely bully people because you're so afraid of yourself that you have to take it out on other people. Rage begets fear and vice versa. Didn't it ever occur to Jack Chick that there might be a reason that bullies beat other people up all the time? It's not because they're possessed by Satan. It's because they hate their lives and themselves, they're afraid of what they're turning into, and they don't want to show weakness. So they'd cover it up by inspiring fear in others. Because then it lets them realize that they're not the only ones who are weak. The only way to deal with fear is to turn it into rage or an abhorrance of something. In most bullies' cases, it's weakness. They don't want to be weak. And when they make other people feel weak, they'll feel stronger in comparison. And, deep down inside, they know that they're being weaker than their victims and they know that this means that they won't amount to much, but they still have to cover it up. They hate themselves but they can't stand hating themselves, so they hate other people.
If Moose was afraid of nothing, he wouldn't be a bully. Plain and simple.
If "Loving thine enemy" means "assuming that every sin they commit has no psychological backing other than blatant sadism", then Jesus was really, really bad at picking the right words.
What kind of bully admits their fear to someone who they victimized? Doesn't it occur to him that the victim would really get off on that?
Wow, instaconversion. Because, of course, a Big, Tough Bully (TM) would totally want to follow all someone else's rules.
God loved us so much that he sent a guy to die for our sins?
I love my mom. So should I send a guy who's about to die to her doorstep because I love her so much?
I'm way too lazy to go through this whole "being saved" thing, so let's just say it's the same old bullshit: some gullible sinner gets down on his knees and starts pleasing God (feeling His sweet salvation all over his face).
Wow. So they couldn't have gotten saved when they were reading the tracts to him?
Moose and the Snakes (giggle) were SINGLEHANDEDLY responsible for all the crime? Why didn't they just kick them out?
MORAL OF THE STORY: there needs to be God in public schools. Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be saved, but whatever.
BLAH.
There's more, but you can imagine "DRUG USE IS DOWN! GRADES ARE UP!"
Chick=major league asshole.
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